You thought you had it all planned, didn’t you? You are the type of person who plans the day from the moment you wake up, you recite your work tasks while you’re brushing your teeth, decide on when you can escape work to lunch with friends, them call them up and plan a mini- soiree just to avoid having what you call “dead time”. You have done this for quite sometime, you’re a pro and you like it. You have got the right job, you own it, you’re good at what you do and people know this about you – ego boost right? You have your own circle of friends whom you confide in, drink buzz with – even though they might hate it- you trust and are always a phone call away.
You have it all, the job, the lover the friends, the social life, the extra cash from freelance and there’s nothing that will wipe that content smile off your face.
Life pauses, looks at you, and says ” hmm she’s got it all, or so she thinks, wait a minute”. Then Life goes on concocting a reality mix that will slap you so hard, like that lost shot of tequila that you shouldn’t have had!
Suddenly, you wake up with the biggest hang over, blurry thoughts, dry throat with a memory of a goldfish. You wake up, it’s day time, the scent of your past is lurking in your clothes and hair like the ever sticking smell of cigarettes. Your gut, it’s hurting from an over dose of reality, you’re nauseous, you’re hungry and you’re at a loss for words of how to describe this feeling.
You reached a point, where looking back is not even a given, no plans for the future, since your previous blueprint was puked on by who else- YOU!
You are hungover on life, decisions were made and your mental state is doughy! You’re weak, yet strong, you’re confused yet determined but at the end you’re just a MESS! A nice mess maybe, but we all know messy things aren’t visually pleasing- unless you bask in your mess, that’s a different story!
So, morning, hungover, mess, blurry thoughts “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?”
As your sober thoughts start creeping in you get a hold of reality, you are alone, your lover disappeared, your past seems like a watered down cocktail, fading colors, fading taste and even the ice cubes that chilled it, melted away.
You gather your loose limbs, get your strength, get up, open the curtains and look outside.. see that, that world out there- it’s still here and you, well pinch yourself, you’re still here. It’s at your disposal, it’s your lover, it’s your mistress, it’s your friend- the world is full of various experiences that help you discover who you truly are!
The world can love you back, when you do- the world can be your imaginary lover, the one who cares for you, feels with you and actually WANTS you to love it.
The world can be the biggest bitch- no matter what, these things are bound to happen and as cheesy as it sounds- all happen for a reason. (I personally didn’t even get a good reason for all the fuck-ups I passed through, but yet some people say patience is a virtue others say, you know it will happen when you least expect it).
The world can also seduce you into taking decisions and doing things that are pleasurable yet morally wrong. These don’t pertain to one specific aspect, yet each person can mold this statement into something that suits him/her. You are blinded by the lusty feeling, you are not in love, you are seduced, bewitched, yet you just can’t grasp that part of the world- for everyone knows love affairs are pleasurable and brief and someone is bound to get hurt- yet AT THAT MOMENT you don’t want to foresee you want to just BE!
You can never get enough, another time life gives you one of its cocktails, you will light a cigarette, take that first “tasting” sip and confidently enjoy it!
This is dedicated to those who looked back at life when shut down, laughed and said “try again bitch”.