Patty bit her nails, she smoked
and she loved her alcohol
She lives in an apartment
that’s as small as a rubiks cube,
her bed was 2 seconds from the kitchen
and 3.5 from the bathroom
she timed it once.
Patty worked as most women her age did
but secretly she is devising a plan
to take over the world
“but the world isn’t ready yet”
or so she says
She sees her therapist from time to time
just to balance the worlds in her mind
to the world around her. That’s what she tells us.
She even pops a pill or two when
her worlds collide.
In a world where everyone wants to prolong life
she lives it.
She’s the only one I know that still smokes
with the hazards of smoking, still drinks
even though she’s at an age where her friends
have calmed down and still bites her nails.
Oh wait, I forgot to tell you
she sometimes has this habit
of biting her shirt
and “bunning” her hair.
I am not sure why, yet
I have seen Patty I work with her
she’s usually quiet, but her clothes are vibrant
I am not quite sure where she gets those colors
but they do spill a hell of a lot
I have even heard her mother once on the phone
telling her that she’s dwindling downwards
with her lifestyle
but honestly I secretly suck the positivity out of her
just by passing by.
One day after work, they planned an outing
and Patty was going, I always wanted to see how
she is, in her natural state, so I joined.
Patty got her Aztec looking backpack
and walked with the group, she did bun her hair
I still wonder why.
We sat, she remained quiet
she ordered her drink and looked at it
like it was the one to rule all.
She popped one blue pill and downed it with her drink.
“Hey” I said, with shaking knees and no idea why
She looked like a bobble head
with her big hazel eyes, messy bunned hair
she was cute.
For some reason, I had a lot to ask but my mind went blank
“You take meds with alcohol?” I asked without seeming to pushy
“I am not allowed to, but yes
it makes everything blurry, it actually
removes a filter off the world” and then
she came close to me and whispered
“you see it clearly” she nodded in affirmation
and sat back.
I giggled, not knowing what to do
she’s is who she is and I wanted to know more
She bent her knees and set them on the edge of the table
the other girls had them crossed
“My mom would be so proud” she laughed
knowing it’s really not what her mom wants her to be
“but I can’t help it, wait what’s your name?”
(mental note, the attention span of a goldfish)
“Teal” ashamed every time I say it
“my mom loved the color” I abruptly ended it
rubbing my eyes, because for some reason
my vision got hazy
“Woah” she said and I thought by now her meds would kick in
but I am the one getting hazy.
Time passed by and the night progressed
talks flew, drinks clinked, smoke up in the air
and she, well she bit her nails, bunned her hair
drank and smoked and then suddenly she bit her shirt!
A flood emotions filled me
is it just me? or can anyone else feel it?
I looked around, everyone was paused
I was in a state of stupor
she was sitting, breathing
She understood my questioning eyes
without me saying a word
“I paused the world a bit
a story is being born”
She held my hand
and my heart exploded
and my eyes closed
I opened them up,
I was still behind her
at the office, it was noon
seeing that bun
smelling like her menthol cigarettes
with a blue pill in a baggie
“Prescribed for Ms. Laurent
by Dr. Katheline Hamsberg
for mental pauses and world collisions”
with a post it
world with me”
I went up to her
with a mind full of questions
I saw her,
she was biting her