Sought

I sought you in heartbreak
I sought you behind doors
I even sought you alone
in the dark where my
candle light shone

I sought you in my hell
I sought you in my heaven
I even sought you
when I mentally traveled

I sought you for therapy
I sought you for peace
I sought you when no drugs
could bring any ease

I sought you in times of anger
I sought you in times of love
I sought you when battles twisted
my tongue with wars
that were not worth of

I sought you in my sleep
I sought you in dreams
I sought you with pens and pencils
aching to fabricate futures
that exist in my mind
where they fixture

I sought you in him and her
I sought you in messy bedsheets
and crisp bright dawns
when my skin crawled
with goosebumps
reminiscing about
yesternight’s
escapades

I sought you in cigarette breaks
under the rain
when it felt the most beautiful
being alone

I sought you drunk
oh, I did
I created love stories
fantasies, tragedies too
even some dirty thoughts
that my mind could not endure

I sought you in confusion
hoping as stanzas flow
so will the solutions too

I sought you in prayer
on paper, on walls
on my palms too
so that when I lay my hand on my chest
my heart could read them
and beat in rest …

I sought you in others
prodigies and peasants
I sought you in twisted art
and wordy inspirations
I sought you in random eye contacts
in collided chemistry
I sought you in the
deepest conversations
and the most awkward silences

I sought you in boring afternoons
and rowdy dancing
I sought you in my memory
hoping you’d stay
and make it to my paper

I sought you in song
I sought you in blank papers
I sought you in 4 am’s
when my mind is diluted with chemicals
that danced with every idea
every thought
before it flees with dawn

I sought you in daydreams
as they seduced my mind’s eye
with worlds of happy endings
and perfect solutions

I sought you …

Oh I sought
you
and found you
in every crumpled paper
thrown in anger
every lead pencil
resting next to doodled hearts
in
every notebook
that rested collecting dust
and dates and memories
I found my muses
nestling, drinking the wines
of my mind, dancing
and singing
rejuvenating me
with one inspiration
after the other

I sought you
and the moment
I do find you
is the moment
stanzas flow
words
fill lines
crossed mistakes embellish
my papers
and
periods are but
beginnings
to new
stanzas
stories
poems

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