Killed Her

I killed her once
and twice
as I sucked the smile
from her lips
when I kissed her

I killed her once
and twice
when I cupped her face
and squeezed the redness
with hands of rage

I killed her once
and twice
when I burned her eyes
with unreal promises

I killed her once
and twice
when I starved her soul
from feeding on simple happiness

I killed her once
and twice
as I shriveled her body
with insults that rested
on her collar bones
like birds of guilt

I killed her once
and twice
as I clawed my nails of loathing
down her feeble spine
that’s barely keeping her up

I killed her once
and twice
as I bit, bits and pieces
of what’s left of her confidence

I killed her once
and twice
as I embraced her with doubt
faking the warmth,
she longs to feel

I killed her once
and twice
as let my fingers untangle
her knots, maneuvering my way
to her thoughts, stitching
assumptions, baffling her

I killed her once
and twice
and I apologize
dear self
you always proved me wrong
and remained
here and
alive
in
every
line

Photography and graphic design by Bryan M. Ferguson

Photography and graphic design by Bryan M. Ferguson