Cracked

It is only when a writer is broken
that ink spills from her cracks
to fall on paper

It is only when a writer is broken
that her muses could not
be constrained
within her

It is only when a writer is broken
that her fists curl into fetal position
carrying the curses of the dynasty
that she has yet to tackle

It is only when a writer is broken
that the whole world turns grey
decorated by
stormy skies and piercing winds

It is only when a writer is broken
that paper thins dangerously
diluting the medium
between insanity and logic

When a writer is broken
one would feel
the intensity of sadness
through the thorny paper
that has turned poetry
to sadism
burning your fingertips
to remind you to feel

When a writer is broken
her isolation becomes
her comfort, her pencil
becomes her needle
her saliva, her poison

When a writer is broken
her paper blotches with tears
giving you a touch
of the salt
that remains
after all has evaporated
with time

When she is broken
her ribcage turns to dust
allowing you to sneak a peek
of what a writer’s heart looks like
naked and helpless

When she is broken
the whole world knows,
reads, wears the veil
of grievance
and weds
her
feeling

crown me pretty

 

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I Watched A Live Band Yesterday

I watched a live band
yesterday
my stomach churned
against its empty walls
digesting emptiness
and simply
feeling human
….again
Giving my butterflies
another reason to flutter

With a voice
so mellow
it mesmerized
hypnotized
the murmurs
to a silence

A marriage of strums
carried feelings
embraced
every stander
with a certain warmth
that reaches the heart

I heard my friend say
they make me fall 
in love with myself
how delicate of a statement
to float amidst
the dark space
to create a certain
kind of love
only told
via
voice and music

Something pure
was taking place
and as an audience
we have longed for
such a feeling
so foreign
to carry us a bit closer
to our very core
reminding us
that it’s possible
for a heart to smile
to prove that
innocence does
still exist

“Who are they?” I asked
Waynick” she said
It was then and
there
I realised
that butterflies
flutter for who
or what
moves them
regardless
of its
nature

 

Never Have I Ever

I have never felt
lighter
than the day
I reworded my worries
to tasks

I have never felt
happier than the day
I reworded my heartbreak
to lessons

I have never felt
wiser
than the day
I reworded what if’s
to what is

I have never felt
free-er
than the day
I reworded
my must’s
to my haves

I have never felt
more considerate
than the day
I dropped my shoes
and wore yours

I have never felt
more independent
than the moment
I dropped you
and placed
myself
first

Never felt
stronger
than the moment
I regurgitated
the words that nestled
in the lump of my throat
to splatter
in speech bubbles
to surround
you

Never felt
more alone
than the moment
I made peace
with my loneliness
and decorated it
with hidden hobbies
filling pages
upon
pages
with none sense
more sense

Never felt
more proud
than the moment
I looked back
at the good things
that barely shine
under the muck
of crap that cover it
so adamantly
every
single time

Never felt
more creative
than the second
my muses
warmed my empty
side in my
king size bed

Never felt
more alive
the moment
the last part of me
died
with the last
tear
that fell
on my paper
blotching
the last
ink
of you
accompanied
with
the last
exhale
my cigarette
harnessed

Dedicated to those who don’t know their worth 

More On The Vixen Lilith

More On The Vixen Lilith

The Unsaid

Today we feel sexy
we’re vixens
we’re hot and
gahd damn unstoppable

So walk that walk strut,
let the devil know
you can burn his hell
and make it
even hotter

Your chemistry
is delicate
just like that lace
barely
holding on to your waist
slipping over
that glazy sweaty layer

Making you shine
like a diamond
in the roughness
of the night
like that demoness
covered by that
thin layer of innocence

Your hair burns
under the sun
every time you sigh
locks vibrate a glow
replicating
the rays of the sun
that peek
through the clouds
and heat everything
in sight

Your breath
aromates your surrounding
with jasmine
seductive and oh so strong
melting frowns
wetting lips
dilating pupils
a natural drug
intoxicating sobriety
increasing heart beats

Straighten up let
your breasts
raise to the heavens
God’s creation must be
displayed in pride
cloned masterpieces that
bring feeling like a woman
closer to feeling like a goddess

Look at them
fixate that burning stare
that spontaneously combusts
all in sight
especially the ones
that dare gaze through
that universe
that your pupils harness
confined in circular
worlds

They call them the window
to your soul
I regret to inform the public
that, darlings
souls float
everywhere
it’s an aura
a certain hue

Hypnotize
let your eyes smile
freeze moments
in your brain that
retain all the chemical imbalances
that carry that heart
to places
only your fantasies
can comply with

Flip your hair
it’s scent puts
roses to shame
immortalizing
its memory
in brain cells
that dwindle between
long and short
term memory

Darling
your tough exterior
bewilders me
your bruises and scars
tattoo your pale skin
beautifully
your heart can never mend
that easily
when you fall
oh you fall hard
and when you crash
your pieces spread to radiuses
like sharp shards of glass
affecting those in your circumference
in the slightest way possible
yet it’s there
that splinter than lingers
it’s there
just like you
will
always
be

THIERRY MUGLER BY HELMUT NEWTON

THIERRY MUGLER BY HELMUT NEWTON

 

 

 

Double Meaning

karimsivan@gmail.com

One day
I woke up from
my journey to hell

filled with my burning emotions
bottled in empty alcohol bottles.

They never seem to die out
they burn for sadness
and flame for joy
they flicker wildly for love
and they raise when someone feeds
them gasolines of agape

I met the devil himself
clothed by linens of innocence
they were white actually
with a seductive glow
amidst the flaming heat

with a voice so calm
he welcomed me
he grabbed my hand and
against my conscience will
my heart melted, his warmth
was something my mind couldn’t phantom

I walked with him through lava paths
with the thin crust that reminded me of earth
and all the feeble promises that I walked over
and got broken along the way

He seemed to float while I suffered
learning not to trust
all those who take my hand

I delayed him
but he kept pulling me
dragging me
maybe he’s teaching me
not to trust everything
that’s hot

“why are you so slow?”
He spoke beyond the surface
just like this lava trail

As I was being dragged
I felt my body burning
with sadistic desire of being punished

My reason never befriended my actions
they were foes from different planets
they got me to hell
with Satan himself
walking across boiling promises
with a weak crust

He dragged me
as I lingered embraced
with these melting promises
body burning
heart beating
mind aware…

He sat me on a rock
looked straight at his kingdom

“You burned quite a bit little one
that heart of yours put wild forest fires
to shame”

I giggled
“I couldn’t help it
can a burning flame
live
if it doesn’t feed off
the air it breathes?”

He handed me a cigarette
and it spontaneously
lit

Новости

Art by Sivan Karim 

 

 

Sign of Life

Blinking cursor
beating
in synch with my heart

Blinking blankness
not one word is written
yet my heart is beating
I am still sitting
staring
blankly
I am still alive
I must have something

Blinking
stirring my agitation
blending my thoughts
my eyes tire
but my hands ache

I want to write
I must, there is something
about nothing
that must make it paper

It still blinks
my hands shake
my wrath
is foaming
with writer’s block

I light a cigarette
hoping it will cloud
my mind with topics
poetic and such
but I just get buzzed

I open a tab,
open a book
open something
my muses seem
to play hide and seek
now, it’s not the time

I call them
do the sacred dance
why have they left me?
Has my mental block scared
them to some place
where assumption resides
sucking what’s left of my hope
the one I created a sole home for?

I lift papers
empty ashtrays
pour a drink
maybe they’d show up
and make that blinking cursor
dance

dance dammit
tip toe over lines
tango with letters
waltz from one stanza to the next

It blinks
wait…
It’s still blinking
at the end
of my
entry

I still got it
I think
I hope
it’s the only
thing
that
beats
in synch
with my heart

2 faces

 

 

Unreciprocated Religion

Drifting from religion
puts faith to the test
lack of practice
and state with no justice
leaves nobody at rest

I thought love was a deity
till my belief turned
to be untrue
maybe I am a fool
and
maybe today
it has become okay
to undermine such
feeling so grandeur
to one that’s so
insecure

I prayed for it
I knelt and raised
my heart to heavens
asking for a beat
to beat back,
synch with mine
electrocute my mind
for one
thud can bring life
and put oneself
at strife, at the same time

I raised it too high
cut ties with my expectations
till it clouded my thinking
am I sinking?
why is my chest stinging?

Maybe this kind
of emotional religion
is on ground
should I believe in the tangible?
or must I simply retract
back into my shell
the one I shed for you?
My very own church
religion-less

Welcome all you
whose faith in love
has diluted itself 
in mishaps 
and drink
perhaps

“Welcome all you
whose loss of belief
is merely a relief”
d3.ru — Популярное

 

 

 

Sleeve Wear

Wear your heart on your sleeve
open your ribs
and let that beating
muscle
beat all things that stand in its way

Crack those feeble bones
aged by years weakened
by punches and let in some air
we all need some air

Feel the pain
the literal sense of it all
it’s only natural
to mistake pain for pleasure

Grab that heart
let the blood spill
you spilled enough tears
over broken promises
let that warm liquid spill
warming the coldness
that embraced your skin
thickening it with
numbness

Let it spill
down your palms
that have held too many hands
and left them too
let is warm the loneliness
that now finds sanctuary
in cigarettes, drinks
and oh that pencil

It’s beautiful
to look at something
that feels and beats
separately

One red heart
for one being
dictating sadness
happiness, initiating
chemical imbalances
that light your glow
or dim it

Break ribs
grab heart
blood, bleeding
Pin it on your sleeve
show off, boast about
what 30 years of life looks like
rotten, begotten,
plump, sexy,
alive

 

Yea, I Break Too

I have cried myself to sleep
hoping my salty tears
can dilute all my loneliness
melting them into none existence

 

I have screamed at emptiness

Hoping I’d scare it to leave my room
to the depth of hell

I have thrown pillows at my walls
to block their ears from my
curses that have weighed enough
to break cement

I have torn papers
of unfinished stories
ripping away all fore sought thoughts
killing all the “would have’s”

 

I have written on walls
and broken pencils
wishing I’d break the lines
that connect me with my past

I have visited rock bottom
and clawed my way
back to the top
every single time
gravity pulled me down

I have hammered
the silence that filled
my nights with loneliness
nailing noises to my house
so they echo with company

I have talked to myself
to amuse the muses
that live in the deepest
corners of my brain,
dwindling between good and evil
between my brain and paper

 

I have lost “it”
and visited another world
where I lost myself to the demons
of my underworld
my very own creation
I looked at today
and clothed its problems
like everyone else
with a smile
shoulders straight
and head high

I have chained smoked
to fill my cravings
with nothingness
but empty calories
and 0 guilt trips

I still breathe the same air
as you
I still pollute my insides
with the same toxins,
just like you
but hey,
I am still here
life sure has a funny
way of showing you
something’s going
in your direction

supermodelgif- "High & Mighty", Nadja Auermann by Helmut. .jpg

Supermodelgif: “High & Mighty”, Nadja Auermann by Helmut.

 

 

Stroke

It started with one stroke
one command to ripple a wave
one movement to initiate
that creation
day 1, moment 1
“let there be more”
there is right way
to make it happen
and he knows it
to create is to be
and to be is to breathe

Every breath breathed life
for more
to fill that space
more strokes
more light
the more the eye
can see
the more, there was to create

The eye got caught
it’s mesmerized
hypnotized
every time it blinks
it opens on something new
on something you never saw before
on an element of light
to light your vision more
to amuse
but you’re still hypnotized
limbs numb
heart beat constant

Strokes
the darkness is slowly
being eaten by the light
there is hope in light
and the more there is
the more that creation
illuminates space for more
more-ness

I see it,
that creation is breathing
it’s growing, it’s alive
reaching for the sky
thanking its creator for
bringing it from the intangible
making it tangible

Breathe..

he gave it a heart

maria_2

Art by Anksy