See

I see her from time to time
walking on those streets
either morning or night

We live in the same vicinity
So visual bumping is bound to occur
She’s covered in colors
a reflection of her thoughts or
a result of a hungover morning?
I wonder

I have walked back and forth
with the mornings and sunsets
I have replayed the same songs in my head
I have counted my steps
and yes I have seen her 
from the corner of my eye
the jumble of colors 
walking to the rhythms of the beats
in my ears
She smiles, I am curious and 
clueless as to the reason 
but it suits her

Mornings and sunsets,

Suddenly you find yourself
having drinks during the week
with your comfort group

the table was covered
with filled ashtrays. colorful
drinks, to each his own 

I was there, with my drink in front of me
I saw her come in, making her way

She had her own group
But I as intoxicated as I was
I let down my guard 
to my thoughts that is
I unchained them, 
and let them loose
since my body was catatonic

However at the end
I abdicated to my mind,
I gathered my limbs and walked towards her

She looked messy but it’s beautiful
she portrayed a mosaic of pulchritude
different pieces of different colors

“I see you pass by everyday
Hi!”
She giggled, “you do?” As she took a drag
from her cigarette
I felt she was examining me
Her eyes scanned my face,
stripped me to the bone
but the beauty of it is that she did it
so innocently

She raped me innocently
Fuck who can say that!
Anyways

Then I found myself at a loss for words
Her vision scan has erased my vocabulary
my mental capacity to engage in small talk
“wtf is small talk anyways”
As I tried to articulate something worthwhile
to give value to my presence next to her
I found myself frozen

“What do you do?”
I used those four words as an excuse
for her to look at me and talk,
giving me the chance to feast
my eyes at her, I do know her

Her hand gestures
her giggles
Her candy wrapping truly does hide
a lot,
hard candy with a soft chewy core
I just figured
that this confident person
with no care in the world
shields herself from the bullshit
around
She has fortified her being
by ingesting every bullshit factor
and morphing it into something beautiful
no matter what

Every time she took a drag from her cigarette
Her eyes would divert from me and into the crowd
She would just look at them
I could see the gears in her head twisting
I could see what her eyes were doing
she didn’t say much, she listened
but she also listened with her eyes
she watched every woman and every man
She OBSERVED
It gave a her rush, they seemed to be the strings
to which she would weave stories about
they seemed to be characters and her joy
was to read, strip, create, generate, replace,

I could see that,
As she exhaled her smoke
She smirked
For smiling to her
was too precious to give away
so easily she diverted her

minute attention to me
She grabbed my hand
got closer to me
My heart…

Got closer to my ear
she whispered

“I see you too”

Those 4 words sent
ripples of
insecurities
it’s like I’ve been stripped
of the last tiny bit
of sober confidence I had

I have
never
felt
so
naked
and infected
with her colors

Rummage

I am car less
So I took to walking under the rain
passing all those cars in traffic
I felt a sense of accomplishment

As I did, on the dog shit infested sidewalk
My thoughts came knocking
Knowing that I would shun them away
But having forgotten my headphones
I hesitatingly welcomed them
as grim or as random as they may seem
They entered, first step forward
“the nerve on these rascals”

As I carried my legs
along the pavement
first, as silly as it sounded,
I started scanning the pattern below my feet
and made sure that all fit perfectly
geometrically

Then someone passed me
That cologne, met my thoughts
and they invited it for a drink
over that drink, my thoughts asked it
“hmm, nice scent, did you get it
is it YOUR scent?, what other scent friends
do you hang out with? Did his girlfriend force
this cologne on him?”
These thoughts had no mercy,
they questioned that cologne
like no tomorrow

All this in my head,
in a split of second
all in silence

Walking through,
I spotted an old man
carrying a plastic bag
with parsley and oranges
coloring that cheap transparent bag

Again my thoughts clung to his image
They too invited it for a drink
“What’s for dinner? Where’s the wife or you live alone?
Why are you walking late, under the rain? Oh you’re wearing converse?”
Poor idea, sat there on that round table in my brain,
again quiet

Then I passed him and my thoughts let go of his idea
Step by step, ideas roamed around in my head
like crazy alcoholics seeking the next idea
to binge on it, let loose

Oh foreigners!
Here we go again,
Those crazy thoughts
Seduced their idea to share that table in my head
“Why are you here? Do you even like it here? Maybe
cause your presence is temporary you enjoy
this country’s corruption? But seriously
Why here?”

Silence, I can only feel
the rummage, but to the world outside
I am just a car-less person
walking under the rain

I got closer to home,
these faces walking past me
prompted my thoughts’ invitation to them
Oh the questions, they asked
Oh the curiosity it spurred
I’ve seen them before,
bumped into them,
I know them,
but I don’t
This instant identity click
is street language
I am sure you know
what I mean,
Sometimes this click
prompts an involuntary smile
because “yea I’ve seen you every morning
but I know nothing about you, but
I know you”

What if I truly articulated these questions to strangers?
Imagine the stories i’d weave

I got to my apartment
and for some odd reason
once I found myself
in my familiar zone
these thoughts got too drunk
and crashed
into
routine
mode

Waves

I saw you
eye-ing me
with your drink in hand
leaning on that dusty
sidewalk car

If you could
walk yourself
through the foggy smoke
and seat yourself next to me
A midst the unknown
what a rush it would be!

To host that confidence
to defy all social alliance
and just carry yourself
to do what you desire
Oh what defiance!

If you could
speak in that voice you use
to seduce my thoughts
and keep them a float
in the smokes
what a high it would provoke!

If you could
alert me to the wits
that embed your mind
and share them
with a manner so kind
what a chill it would give!

If you could
welcome my arguments
accompanied by the occasional
initial blush moments
interrupted by sing-alongs
with the tunes playing
what a thrill that would instill!

If you could enjoy
your drink and cigarette too
with all the hustle that’s surrounding you
with your gut twisted, clouded by
my judgement of your bold move
what a salute to man kind you’ll be

It all comes in waves,
the gathering of your strength
the courage to walk
towards me, locking eye contact
with no script in hand
with no plan at stand
with no knowledge of me or them
with no clear stance of what’s at whim!

It all comes in waves
the rushes, each one whips your heart
with an adrenaline rush
Slaps your face
with a hesitating smile
coating you with confidence

All those waves
come crashing at you
you enjoy the salty droplets
you defy the inertia of each wave
with sturdy feet standing
You are seduced by the thrill
of the unknown

therefore I ask you now

If you could
would you?

Waves of chemistry