Line of Light

Waiting for the sun
to line the cusp of dawn
wetting the cigarette path
that has ashed my throat
with the last sip of yesterday
I saw my tomorrow
sugarcoated with a hangover
and sprinkled with reality

I am still alive

It’s up
I can taste the realization of tomorrow
as the rays of the sun spill over the sky

I don’t want it,
I lie there in my ashtray
holding on to a reckless night
memory-less, worry-free
I don’t want it

My shutters try to shield
the light of day
try to fight the hands of time
as they pull the blanket from me
down the body
trailing down my breathing lungs
undressing me
from that feeling of slumber
that has paralyzed my body
stupor

I still don’t want it

The memories start surfacing
like diluted ice spending the night
in my drink, slowly and lightly
yet I still drink it keeping it
nestled in the bottom
sipping on the liquid
keeping my inhibitions low
and my tolerance
high

Lying there
balancing on the thin line
between awake
and sleeplessness
my eye lids
fell heavy
closing the shutters
of my body
trailing
softly
into the land of dreams
where my fantasies
keep me very far
from a morning
of realities

here not here

Eve

Just like a flower
she took her time
to soak up the brightness
of the sun and bloom
into a ripe
mature fruit
seducing the Adams
of the world
to sin with the first bite
of sweetness

Reveling in her nudity
as that nectar trails
down her soft arms
there’s nothing more beautiful
than what nature
clothed her with

Pale white skin
soft and plum
with sun and sweetness
with natural freckles
from those burning
passionate sun kisses

She sways with the rays
making sure
every curve gets a taste
of those golden touches

Hair of curly nature
thanks to the wind
that played in every thread
to put her to sleep
while
twisting breaths of strength
to withstand forces
that oppose hers

Golden in nature
touched by the harps
of angels
for when she walks
music fills the air
sunshines fills darkness
yet remember
she’s the origin of sin
isn’t she?

Her eyes
mesmerize

The sun
has embedded stars in those eyes
so they shine back at the moon
when she watches the sky at night
and talks to the moon
to remind the him
of his lover, the sun

Come, she tells me
my body
could not but comply
and my heart
could not
but
sigh

 

 

 

 

Consider This

Consider this
your mind racing
beating
with
every thud

Consider this
eyes that comply
and a mind
that counts..

when.. reading..

Consider yourself
naked
no rules
no guilt trip

Consider yourself
aware
of past
future
and present

Consider yourself
bold, brave
fearless
staring back
at life’s ambiguity
and giving it the finger

Consider yourself
spontaneous
borderline careless
jumping at any
opportunity
without enough time
to process the aftermath
until
its aftermath

Consider yourself
in love
selfishly, selflessly
lustfully
and insanely
to understand
the meaning of chemical imbalance
have a taste mental illness, a day in a straight jacket
for a change

Consider yourself
unstable
enough to pursue happiness
the simple one
that makes your heart laugh
and your face glow
that magic

Consider yourself
able
of anything
and everything
able of painting
over blankness
and blackness
and gilding
cracks
and forming new worlds

Consider yourself
intoxicated
with the pleasures of life
high on emotions
hyper on thought generation
ecstatic on ideation
drunk on writing

Consider yourself
dominant
in control
of situations
whipping them into shape
and inking your mark
on every single
high and low
in every row

Consider yourself
to be yourself
why
change for
consideration?

Photography by Helmut Newton

Not For You

On my planet
hearts don’t fall,
they
float

On my planet
the sun doesn’t set,
it
settles

On my planet
the moon doesn’t glow,
it
bewitches

The stars don’t glisten
they
listen

The mind doesn’t rest
it
races

On my planet
tongues don’t speak,
they
serenade

Lips don’t caress
they
capture

Eyes don’t blink
they
dissect

 

Tears don’t wet
they
mend

Hands don’t stay still
they
speak

On my planet
things don’t get broken
they
get beautiful

on my planet
some are invited
others
won’t even
make it
there

 

Swinging

Lull me to the lullabies
of yester-years
and swing me from
my past
at full speed
to feel
the fresh breeze
of the future
that brushes my face
with vague predictions
and adrenaline

Hold me
as I swing back
centered by
that swing
secure me
when my heart aches
as I fall back
into my past

Push me
higher this time
so I feel the past is further
so I feel superior
to what pulled me down

With all your might
push me closer to the sun
to melt my insecurities
that lay themselves on my skin
like candle wax, heavy and hard

I am swinging back
my heart beats fast
the sky feels further
the future is distant
my hair covers my face
.. covering my cheeks
embracing me from
my fears
my back is to my past
…awaiting that push

I feel your hands
awaiting with
weighty energy
lay themselves on my back
like wings ..
cupping my rib cage
empowering my body
with the thought of flight

……. swings forward ….

.. speed …
.. weightless …
I move forward
piercing the air
with my presence
I feel gravity has given up
my face exposed
red cheeks
the sun closer
warmer…
my wings…
my illusioned wings..
your palms..
the imprint of his hands
on my ribs
felt real
wait

what’s happening
… the clouds …. nearer
my vision .. clearer

no action to my reaction
to pull to my push

I am floating
and for the first time
I looked back
to see my past
blurry vague
and way below me
I
am
flying

Art by Columpio

 

Wishes and Skies

The stars
grew heavy
from the wishes
that they carried

Until one starry night
they rained
on me
giving me
a sky of
shooting
stars

The moon
grew bored
of my silent gaze
seeking the
man looking back

Until one night
it got so close
just to show
that moons
do blush

The constellations
glittered to amuse
my fantasies
that connected them
with hopes and thoughts

Until one night
my mind connected
other stars
forming my own
constellations
holding my own stories
keeping the distance
in between them and I
as the only code
of conduct

The sky
grew weary
from the day dreams
that hang so loosely
in front of me

Until one day
the clouds tangoed
with my thoughts
waltzing between
buildings and trees

The sun
tried to shine
summoning the cusp of
dawn and my body
to walk into the day

Until I found myself
floating without gravity
on a different planet
the 4th from the sun
to be exact
creating
my
own
way of
life

jump

 

 

Fire Signs

It takes trial and error
to master the art
of keeping my flame
burning

and once you do
you’ll learn
to fall in love
with fire

even if it
burns

It takes
patience and virtue
to craft thin lines
of experience
across a face

whose only
artist is time
itself

Care and carefulness
to caress thick skin
that’s been kissed
and bruised creating
galaxies of stories

that orbit
in rotation
around a sun
that shines
the void between
my ribs

Rationale and rokkus
to shake my core
with confusion
and settle it
with an anchor
of balance

to root my feet
on earth
rather than
in my bubble

It takes
courage and a match
to rub my skin
the right way
to ignite my flame
for fire signs
burn
for a
reason

snap out of it

 

 

B.A.R (Burn After Reading)

When I write
my mind goes blank
and my papers
rejoice in word

When I write
my soul embraces nirvana
that state of nothingness
and everything

When I write
my eyes dilate
the same way
they do when I
look at my lover
wide, passionate
and fiery
……..
my hands shake in
anxiety and excitement
there’s so much to write
yet my hand isn’t fast enough
to comply

…….
my thoughts
teleport my being
back and forth
like a pendulum
peacefully swinging
between my reality
and fantasy

When I write
(sigh)
I fall in love
I get heartbroken
I fall again, stand up
and do it over and over
in the little world
that my mind’s eye sees

When I write
my smile widens
keeping the secret
that only exists
between me and my paper

When I write
my skin speaks in goosebumps
a language
only I could understand
and my lover could ignite

……
I go down rabbit holes
fly to parallel universes
ride tidal waves
live in worlds yet to exist
taste lips yet to be
beat with a heart
yet to heal

When I write
I become
the wind
to make your
wild fire
spread from cover
to cover
burning
page
after
page

fire hands

Killed Her

I killed her once
and twice
as I sucked the smile
from her lips
when I kissed her

I killed her once
and twice
when I cupped her face
and squeezed the redness
with hands of rage

I killed her once
and twice
when I burned her eyes
with unreal promises

I killed her once
and twice
when I starved her soul
from feeding on simple happiness

I killed her once
and twice
as I shriveled her body
with insults that rested
on her collar bones
like birds of guilt

I killed her once
and twice
as I clawed my nails of loathing
down her feeble spine
that’s barely keeping her up

I killed her once
and twice
as I bit, bits and pieces
of what’s left of her confidence

I killed her once
and twice
as I embraced her with doubt
faking the warmth,
she longs to feel

I killed her once
and twice
as let my fingers untangle
her knots, maneuvering my way
to her thoughts, stitching
assumptions, baffling her

I killed her once
and twice
and I apologize
dear self
you always proved me wrong
and remained
here and
alive
in
every
line

Photography and graphic design by Bryan M. Ferguson

Photography and graphic design by Bryan M. Ferguson

 

Liberate(d)

I have stacked bottles
of loneliness around my room
hoping they can keep me company
with their temporary effect
of distraction from reality

I have kissed too many cigarettes
hoping one of them
will taste like you

I have nibbled on my nails
multiple times
to entertain thoughts of you
in my head as I chip them
in angst

I have twisted my curls
around my fingers
as thoughts of you coil
around my finger
as if conversing
with me, myself and I

I have searched for myself
in the mirror, over and over
for my image of myself
is the one you have
tattooed me with

I have stretched
the mess, my mess
on my bed
filling it with company and warmth
for, it has grew in size
and it has become too big

I have swallowed thoughts of you
every time the butterflies in my
stomach push you to my mouth
then up to my mind

I have shut down the lights
on the billboard of my heart
for my emotions have learned
to burst instead of glow
but now, the roads are abandoned
and my billboard collects dust
from passerby’s and speeding cars

I have bitten too many pencils
to create sculptures of stress
decorating my favorite ornament
with ideas of you

I have….
not
anymore

Egon Schiele

Egon Schiele