QUICK REALIZATION!

When was the last time you actually looked into someone’s eyes
when they were talking to you!?

When was the last time you actually saw the words connect
your vision to theirs?

Did you ever notice that it makes them fidget when
you gaze at them, with full concentration?

Did you ever notice that it makes them feel awkward?

Why?
Why can’t I look you in the eyes and tell you my story
Why do you have to monitor my face
my lips, my cheeks
my hand gestures?

Why does it bother you that I see nothing more
than your eyes?

Eyes, they amplify
eyes, they diversify
eyes, they quantify

Why?

Try it, look at them straight in the eyes
while they are conversing, don’t look weird
just listen with your eyes
and watch the connection
MULTIPLY!

There’s a whole galaxy in there!

eyes

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Peace

Once there was this soul
that wandered aimlessly
literally

that soul, was a product
of easy living and naive breathing
walking through paths less traveled
taking advice from the here and there

that soul, was a conclusion
of the picture perfect being
striving to complete the straight A
attitude it has always maintained

That soul always clung to passer-bys
for fear of being a lonely wanderer
that soul needed the comfort of another

Until one day, there was this hammer
that was hitting that bubble surrounding this
body-less aura, that hammer
redundantly kept hitting that fragile cover
as the cracks crept from all angles, it eventually broke

The soul was released from confinement
it was left to wander and wonder
it was alone, escaped that comfort of its own inflicted
cover bubble

It left that space like incense smoke
swirling with the wind, creating art out of nothing
generating amusement as it left that burning stick
with a beautiful scent, leaving behind the ashes
of the cold fragrant stick, wilting

Now what?

As it curled and swirled
it expanded its horizons to a bigger bubble
a bubble of no boundaries
It escalated to the euphoric highs of freedom
and it sometimes deterioted to the lingering feelings that
once reminded it of that silly fragile bubble, it once called home

As it weightlessly flew through that bigger horizon
it stumbled on lost body, wandering the face of the earth
it felt familiar, the soul looked closely, that body was empty
broken burnt, effaced from all things that reflected its true beauty
to the outer world

As that body inhaled a breath of fresh air
the soul entered it with no thoughts
the soul fell in love with it
that feeling of love at first sight
driving the soul to insanely and spontaneously
become one with that body
the soul nestled beautifully
and slowly realized that this is home

The body, glowed it felt alive again
It has found sanctuary within itself again

It felt beautiful all on its own
It felt powerful

It was just the antidote
to those empty lifeless eyes
it felt like all  it needed

was breath of fresh air

to revive that once wild spirit
to give light to the world it had
hidden behind those eyes
that rib cage
and that damn thick skin

and the soul, oh the soul

it felt more at home
than ever
it has found its
calling
its
Peace

nycgirlbalcony.jpg

NYC BALCONY – 1950 SERENE, BREATHE

Solo

I passed by that drunken street
during the day
It felt like a different place
It was not infested with glamoured up beings
nor was it showered by the spilled drinks of others

I aimlessly walked and enjoyed a cup of wine
at 3 pm, marveling at the pseudo sober humans
holding conversations, conducting meetings
eating, having coffee

Oh my dear street, I have underestimated you
and limited your existence to a “stage”  (quoted)
for drunken souls, drinking their third world
worries away, enjoying induced pleasure
that will either be vomited or lingered
in your mind – knocking on your skull
“Hey, I am your hang over”

As I sat there, soaking in the sun
on that crummy wobbly chair
I spoke to a friend of mine,
I could actually hear him,
I sipped on my wine with no intention
of gulping it, I smoked my cigarettes
normally, not chain-ly

“Let’s go check out some art”
That statement rang in my ears
Art, my senses clung to that last wine sip
so as to enjoy it with the art that I was about to see

As we walked, on those streets
my eyes were gawking at the bits and pieces
eaten by the night, that our vision fails
to grasp, for some reason I felt like a tourist
foreign to the same streets I frequent
every freaking day!

As my friend opened the iron gates
those creaks initiated a sense of mystic
feel
My body hungry for something unknown
my soul yearned for the cultural stimulation
that my brain climaxes to
My eyes forgot how to blink
aching for masterpieces

We stepped into a room
with patterned titles
in front of the door was a painting
black and white
Yet there was something mysterious about it
My eyes slowly moved my body
towards it, the magic halted my body
at a certain distance from it

My vision could capture the whole canvas
The yearning has stopped and now
it is at a loss of expression
it “froze” digesting the aura of this masterpiece

I fixated on the eyes
I could hear it, I could listen
to the chaos happening
in that brain behind those eyes
I could feel the sadness
the aches, the experiences
the happiness that has backfired
those endless nights homogenized
with alcohol and cigarettes
those days of being used and abused
or using and experimenting

I could see those eyes
looking back at me, and silently
relaying a response
“I’ve seen it and felt it too”
Shivers, goosebumps
trailed along my arms
my spine chilled with a peculiar feeling

I stood there, feeling small
I stood there absorbing the instant relationship
the one whose commitment was strongest
than any of my priors held with real humans
The one where a silent conversation
echoes in your body
The one where your space is its space
That one connection you have with someone
or something
That enigmatic feeling
where justification is not needed
nor required

I stood there, gazing
gawking at those eyes
Dammit, I can literally
converse
in silence
I was taken
my soulful satiation has been complete
my mental cultural richness reached
the brim, yet my eyes
my eyes would not stir away from the sight
The connection was immense, it hypnotized my eyes
my mental capacity
the conversation kept going

“Shoulder pat”

“Did you see that one?” he said
My attention was abruptly cut
my eyes remembered how to blink

As I walked around the gallery
that painting, kept looking
I felt like a blushed lover, stealing glances
because of that connection
It was not all butterflies and colors
It was  a painting
in simple black and white
dank dark colors
harsh strokes and thin hairlines of paint

It was a portrait
of mere
mess
that
was
a reflection
of
me
and
I
for the first time
loved
it

art by Rafic Majzoub - Rain on Me solo show, Beirut, Lebanon

art by Rafic Majzoub – Rain on Me solo show, Beirut, Lebanon

Mystery

She walks with such grace
that’s only as beautiful
as the soul that
blossoms in her fiery core

Her perfume slithers
its way from her neck
all the way to your neurons
they burst with electricity
they establish an associative memory
“that’s her scent” – you say silently
Without a glimpse of her face ..
Well not yet!

Her scent has hypnotized you
to abruptly follow its invisible trail
You want to feast your eyes
on that beautiful woman
who’s scent speaks volumes
in pulchritude and seduction

Like a mad man,
logic has been suppressed
and your instincts kicked in
and you want to satiate your curiosity
You follow her down the street
You fixate your eyes on those golden locks
You try to piece up a face
to fit that gorgeous silhouette

As you pass the shadowy vague
passer by’s, you got closer
your heart pumping, your veins popped out
adrenaline has become your cocaine
every breath you take, gets shorter
as your hand extends to reach out
to touch her, a gentle tap on
her shoulder, a queue for her to turn around

Time froze, as she slowly turned
You were astonished at her appearance
Her face was as fresh as the first day of spring
innocence, yet those eyes
cut from stars, magnetically
attracted your attention
They harbored lively demons

You couldn’t fathom the mystery
that surrounded her
She was a mix of innocence
a dash of demon and whole
lot of secrets

Your hesitation at lacking the ability of verbalize
resulted in you blurting out
“Sorry thought you were someone else”

As she forced a smile
she said “It’s ok” and kept on walking
not giving you any ounce of attention
..and that my dear sir stirred something in you

As you walked back regaining your sense of logic
“wtf was that” moments started seeping in

You bought a beer from a crummy local place
leaned on a car by the sidewalk, took out a cigarette
You wondered
What secrets does such a human possess?
How many hearts has she broken? How many times has her been?
What kind of lovers have had her in their lives?
Does she like men or women?
What’s her addiction? What’s her weakness?

As your thoughts dance with your imagination
You reached mental illusions where you shared a cigarette with her
looked at her face, studied the wrinkles she has when she smiles
that one dimple
How can such a being, have lingering demons
playing within?
How can she plaster a smile to beautifully
cover her inner self?
You go on marveling

Yet you still cannot pin down the mystery…
that key
to open the door
and let the little devils come
out and play

Dawn

Jousting thoughts
in the arena of your mind
for no apparent reason
they are fighting
a gory match
till slumber
summons the death of them

Eyes wide awake,
Mind racing,
bed sheets frozen
shadowing your body underneath
with a thin layer of cold separating
your body hollows from the cover

Heart so quiet
you think it stopped beating
Yet the bloodshed
in your mind is keeping your
mental state awake, so awake
it’s bothering your eye lids

They long to close
The eye lashes miss their kin
on the eye lid above

But  you just can’t simply shut them
What’s going on?

The joust still lingers
the television emits vague noises
you can barely hear a dialogue
The shadows of actors play on the wall in front of you
Those thoughts gahd dammit
They revolve around sporadic moments
subconscious fucks with the conscious
you can’t tell what’s real and what’s not?
“Did that happen today? Wait no I dreamt that
Oh fuck, I don’t know” 

Is it possible, can your thoughts
scare sleep away?

Your eyes tear up,
exhaustion is seeping in,
but those eyes of yours
that racing mind, forbid sleep from slithering
through that almost corpse like body of yours

You move your body
to face the television,
hoping for hypnosis and then sleep

The eyes feast, on the movie playing
yet, the processing of the events
has haltered
You “see”, that’s all you do
the link between your eyes and your mind
seems broken
is it the joust? Has is cut the connection?
Have you dived in a vegetable state of being?
Your thinking is halted by the mess up there!

You twist to the other side of the bed
the bed sheets trace your motion
hug your body

You force your eyes to close
the magnetic pull of your eye lids backwards
is fucking with you
it’s not happening!

You put your hands on your eyes
providing an illusion of darkness
a sort of psychological signal
to summon sleep
Yet, you’re still awake
You mumble to yourself
as if conjuring some sort of
sleeping spell

You remove your hands
It’s dawn
the sun is kissing the cusp of your silhouette
You wonder, your annoyed
with a weird rewarding feeling
You have just made a friend
and her name is
insomnia

Insomnia

VS.

You wake up
You know your routine by heart
Your body carries you mindlessly
into your outfit
Eyes still fighting the urge to widen

Your legs with great effort walk
to the kitchen to get your dose of caffeine ready
You sigh, it’s early alright
the weather is almost dreary

You still look at your empty bed
messy sheets, trace yester-nights movements
with that steaming coffee in hand
and your mind torn between
“should I?” vs. ” I MUST not”

You take your crumpled pack of cigarettes
You open the shutters,
The sun rays laser their way through
teasing your eyes with daylight
“You must wake up” vs. “let me hug my pillow tighter”

You sit on that balcony of yours
Overlooking the cookie-cutter buildings
The illusion of a view, for some reason
rests your eyes, you’re still home.

You look to your side, the other chair sits there
with droplets of rain slipping slowly,
It’s vacant vs. its antonym
You take a cautious sip of coffee silently” vs. asking “how’d you sleep?”

You light that cigarette to compliment your morning
You embrace that toxic smell, you see
the smoke dance, your eyes trace its motion
You artistically observe the smoke
“You grin” vs. “I love sleeping in the rain… next to you”

You lost yourself for a second there
You frantically look at your phone
As much as you want to stay
and fence with your thoughts of
Alone-ness vs. Loneliness
You delight in the thought
that the latter is far fetched

You enjoy the thought
that your alone-ness
is actually a state of mind
where you go realize, weigh, and respect
your true self

You embrace your alone-ness
Fuck it, your falling in love with it
It’s seducing you on a daily basis,
it’s slowly feeding you self respect
and you are mind blown
from realizing your
self worth .. FUCK wow!

You run into that social world
With an aura of glowing confidence
You must make money,
Rent is due!

Realizing your true self worth and beauty!

Realizing your true self worth and beauty!